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Parenting Tips for the Pesky Teens

What is Parenting?


The facilitation of a child’s upbringing through all developmental stages is termed parenting.

Diana Baumrind, a renowned clinical and developmental psychologist conducted research through observation and interviews on middle-class children, the product of which came to be known as parenting styles. Her two measuring instruments were demandingness and responsiveness. One focused on the demanding nature of parents with regard to expectations from their children while the other focused on how responsive parents were to the needs of their children. Based on this, the concept of parenting styles emerged.


The 4 styles are as follows:


Authoritarian Parenting

This type of parenting typically involves a one-way manner of communication in which the parent sets forth stringent rules that the child must abide by. The child has very little to no room for bargaining, and the restrictions are typically not stated.


They demand perfect behavior from their kids in order for them to uphold these ideals. Usually, mistakes are punished. Normal characteristics of authoritarian parents are a lack of nurturing, strong expectations, and little room for compromise. They also refuse to understand where their children’s difficulties to abide may stem from.


The most well-behaved kids in the room will typically be those who have grown up with authoritarian parents due to a fear of repercussions of misbehaving. They are also better able to follow the detailed instructions needed to complete a task.


Additionally, this parenting approach can result in kids who are more aggressive but may also be timid, socially awkward, and unable to make their own judgments. They struggle to regulate their anger since they didn’t receive the right training or guidance.


They may also have low self-esteem, which contributes to their bad decision-making. As a child gets older, strict parental regulations and penalties can inspire a rebellion against authorities.


Authoritative Parenting

This kind of parent typically cultivates a tight, nurturing bond with their kids. They provide clear boundaries for expectations and provide justifications for disciplinary measures. Methods of discipline are applied as a kind of assistance rather than punishment.


Children can contribute to setting objectives and expectations, and there is a regular and appropriate amount of communication between parents and their children. This parenting approach typically results in the healthiest outcomes for kids, but it demands a lot of patience and work from both parents.


These parents also promote independence, so their kids will grow up knowing they can achieve things on their own. Children that experience this have better self-esteem as they age. These kids perform well in school and have high academic achievement levels.


Permissive Parenting

Warm and loving in nature, permissive parents typically have few, if any, demands. They place a few restrictions on their kids. While keeping lines of communication open, parents let their kids solve problems on their own. Rare instances of discipline are typically the outcome of these low expectations. More so than parents, they behave more like pals.


Children with few limits, particularly when it comes to snacks, may develop harmful eating habits. Later in the child’s life, this may lead to greater risks for obesity and other health issues. The child has a lot of autonomy in deciding when to go to bed, whether or not to do their homework, and how much time they spend watching television and using the computer.


Uninvolved Parenting

As this kind of parent typically keeps their distance, children are allowed a great deal of independence. While often maintaining their distance from their child’s life, they meet the child’s fundamental necessities. A detached parent has little communication with their child and doesn’t use a particular method of correction. They frequently provide little caring and have either few or no expectations for their kids.


Children with various styles of parenting are typically less resilient and may even be less self-sufficient than children with uninvolved parents. These abilities, though, were acquired because of necessity. Additionally, they may struggle academically, have difficulty maintaining or cultivating social relationships, struggle with emotion regulation, and employ less effective coping mechanisms.


What is an Ideal Type of Parenting?


According to research, authoritarian parents are more likely to raise kids who are autonomous, self-sufficient, and socially adept.


Children of strict authoritarian, permissive, or uninvolved parents are more likely to exhibit these characteristics, even if children of authoritative parents are not immune to mental health problems, interpersonal problems, substance misuse, poor self-regulation, or low self-esteem.


There is no “one size fits all” approach to parenting. You don’t have to follow one particular style because there may be occasions when you need to apply a variety of parenting techniques, but just occasionally.


The most effective parents are aware of when to adapt their approach based on the circumstance. If a child is sick, an authoritative parent might wish to loosen some of their control while still providing warmth. And if a child’s safety is in jeopardy, such as when crossing a dangerous street, a permissive parent may be more rigid.


Utilize your best judgment, and always keep in mind that you should use the parenting approach that is most effective for your family at the time.


Parenting Teens through Developmental Stages


Developmental changes continue to take place as a child reaches their teen years. Physical, mental, emotional, and social transformations are prevalent right now. Puberty causes a change in hormones. The majority of boys develop facial and pubic hair as well as deeper voices. Most girls acquire menarche, and pubic hair and develop breasts. They could be concerned about these adjustments and how others will perceive them.


They may experience peer pressure during this time to use drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and other substances, as well as to engage in sexual activity. Eating disorders, depression, and familial issues can be additional difficulties. Teenagers make more independent decisions concerning their companions, activities, academics, and schools at this age.


At this age, they may also be rebellious, questioning education and the people around them. While the role that parents play is extremely crucial, teenagers become increasingly autonomous individuals with their own personalities and interests.


Teens may experience emotional and social changes such as concerns regarding their physical appearance, dressing sense, and body image. They may tend to be less affectionate and respectful towards their parents and show more importance and interest towards their peers. They also develop more complex thoughts, are better able to differentiate between right and wrong, and are better able to be more expressive.


Tips to Manage the Teens

Learn How to Communicate like a Parent and Friend

Striking the right balance between being a parent and friend can lead to a healthy relationship where they are able to open up and express themselves, and will also listen to you, just as they would to a friend. You can always advise them without screaming or lecturing.


Avoid Looking Down upon Them

It’s annoying when teenagers talk back with a disrespectful tone, however, responding the same way only makes it worse. If your child is not listening to you or not getting the chores or their homework done, try and use ‘I’ statements instead of ‘You’ statements. Instead of “You are good for nothing”, try “I feel hurt by your actions”.


Emphasize What’s Important

If you dislike that haircut your adolescent has or if you do not approve of an outfit, this one’s for you.


Let your teen explore their individuality and personality, and try and resist the need to attempt to manage your adolescent’s life.


Engage in Those Uncomfortable Conversations

When your teen does something irresponsible, do not sit down to lecture them. They are most likely to get defensive. Instead, have a conversation about it when you both are composed. They must be able to comprehend their mistakes and learn from them, knowing they can always fall back on you.

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