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How to converse better to have healthy relationships?

Can we read minds?

As humans, we cannot read minds. Can we? Hence it’s impossible to completely know what can trigger other being in a conversation however we can prevent ourselves from hurting them by knowing what generally triggers a lot of individuals in a conversation.

The main and the most important tool to have a good conversation is to truly listen to the other person. Listening is the main key to having genuine and honest conversations. In addition to this being an attentive observer also helps. When one is a good listener and a great observer, one can get to know the subtle changes of the person in front and can mindfully choose the words.

One ought to likewise know about what to talk, when to talk, and how much to talk contingent on the individual they are conversing with. This helps us in all other things the conversation comprises.

Ingredients for a good conversation

First and foremost, what does a conversation consist of? There are words that we express, there is a tone wherein we express those words, there is a way we address individuals, and, there is humour that we use to acquire a tad bit of amusement, so we can sound fascinating. Subsequently, there are about 4 distinct things in which individuals can get set off.

Primarily, the words which are utilized. The use of words is in every case better when we listen and notice. While having discussions, it’s exceptionally imperative to realize what words to not use.

For example, an individual who has experienced a misfortune due to corona could get triggered by the usage of the word corona and could get restless. So while you are addressing people, you can just ask " I heard you were feeling low. How are you feeling now? Instead of '' I heard you and your family were tested positive for Covid. How are you? “.

The subtle changes that we can make in the use of words can assist the other individual and perhaps make them feel significantly better.

At the point when somebody isn’t feeling great, trying not to call an individual by a couple of words like fragile, patient, sick could likewise help.

We never know what an individual has gone through in all their years that can set off them severely, yet we can try not to utilize a couple of very delicate words like assault, pregnancy, rape.

Another example, if an individual has gone through rape or attack, you utilizing such words even normally to discuss another person’s episode can likewise trigger them and may return them to those circumstances to cause them to feel anxious, pictures might begin blazing in their mind making them sweat, fumble or they could even get outstandingly quiet.

Body Language

Pay special attention to such occurrences and offer water or simply sit quietly with them. Talking about food might be especially triggering to people who have bad relationships with food.

One cannot avoid talking about food all the time however on the off chance if at all you know about somebody battling with an eating disorder, you can help them by keeping away from such subjects around them.

Discussing pregnancy, children may be setting off to individuals who have attempted to have kids yet couldn’t. If you know that person a little bit, it’s easier to pick the words that wouldn’t harm them in any capability so, till you get to know a person, typically stay away from all such points that can set off their incredibly agonizing spots.


Secondly, the tone in which we talk. For the vast majority of individuals, the tone matters a lot when they are conversed with. Whatever is said in a low, delicate, and kind tone is heard all the time by individuals. Exactly the same things when said in a harsh and blatant tone are regularly never paid attention to by similar individuals.

When you are speaking, it’s very important that you speak only those things which you genuinely care about because sounding genuine is your first benchmark while having a conversation in which the tone plays a vital role. Sounding fake sets off a lot of people in general.

Way we communicate

As already said, we generally address individuals relying on their age, the closeness they share with us, and their personality. When we have no clue about somebody who is before us, it’s dependably a superior plan to ask them what and how they like to be addressed instead of addressing them upon how they look to us. The way they want to present themselves might be the other way than they look to us, so ask.

We are all humans and every single being deserves to be respected and treated kindly. For instance, a friend whom you had seen in your childhood as a boy might have felt differently after an age and would have finally gathered the courage to accept that he is a she now. For you who have never met him for quite a long time proceeding to address her as him would set her off. So it’s always better to ask what they prefer to be addressed as.

Do we add humour?

Next comes humour. Individuals love involving humour in their discussions to look intriguing and to dazzle the other individual. It’s great to use good humour in discussions. To know what good humour is, we initially need to know what’s bad humour. For instance, using somebody’s looks to make all others in the gathering chuckle can be called bad humour or in any event, belittling humour.

We often unknowingly hurt and trigger people by using humour.

We jokingly call others fat, slutty, skinny, dark, geek, chasmish, soda..etc. In some cases, judgmental remarks are passed in the name of humour. Using their acne, bodily or facial hair or any of their physical features for humour could set them off despite the fact that they simply grin and disappear from there.

For example, An individual you just called fat might be wearing a tummy tucker struggling to even breathe. A boy whom you just ridiculed for crying by calling him a girl, might be suffering a loss of a loved one. We never know what one is going through, henceforth, it doesn’t look good on our part to pass judgmental comments or make fun of others to impress anyone.

One can never gain anything by hurting another being. So to keep in mind to only use good humour plays a very important role while having a conversation.

The triggering points are different for different individuals. They might be from the people they have met in their past or from the situations that they have encountered and which have given them some bitter past experiences.


It likewise relies upon the manner in which an individual is, his point of view, and his values on life. It also depends on the way one is.

Carefree or intense. It also depends on the topics we are conversing on such as religion, politics, poverty, and other such sensitive matters. So when you are beginning a discussion with somebody, maybe remember to take care of these 4 tools- words, tone, how we address them, and the humour for the most part. Roughly once you take care of these, no one can stop you from having the best conversations of your life!

To more conversations with the people you love❤️

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