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Shahila Azam

Dear Diary

Updated: Feb 1




Alana breathed in the crisp, familiar air as she stepped out of the airport. The weight of a challenging semester, filled with exams and unending assignments, lifted off her shoulders. She was finally back home.


The memories of missed moments, particularly her nana's funeral, lingered in her mind. Wondering about her grandpa's well-being, Alana hailed a taxi to home, eager to see him. As the car pulled over, her grandpa was waiting for her by the porch.


He gave her a big smile and opened his arms for a hug. She put her luggage down and ran towards her grandpa to give him a tight hug. "Hey grandpa, how have you been?" she asked, her voice carrying a hint of concern.


"I'm doing great," he replied, "Missing your nana, but I've got cherished memories to last a lifetime. And I hope it's a short lifetime," he added with a playful twinkle. Alana scolded playfully, "Oh, grandpa, you can't say that!"


"Come on in,” Grandpa Gestured. “Let me carry the suitcase for you, sweetheart," Grandpa said sweetly. “Your room, is ready for you upstairs” “Thank you Grandpa,” Alana gave him a small peck and headed towards her room to unpack.


That evening, during a quiet and peaceful dinner, "Alana, sweetie” Grandpa said, “Your nana has left something for you. It's in the box, right under your bed.” Alana put her fork and knife down and rushed up to her room to check under the bed, curious as to what nana had left her.


When she opened the box, she saw that it was filled with journals. She quickly rummaged the box to find the oldest one, it was dated 1967. Probably when is was abut 16 years old, Alana mused. She decided that she was going to spend the rest of her vacation reading these journals.


The journal from her nana’s early years was pink, filled with doodles of flowers, pictures of hearts, and cutouts of her favorite movie actresses; it was addressed ‘Dear Diary’. The journal was a cliché, capturing the innocence of the teenage years. Through the pages, Alana journeyed through crushes, heartbreaks, and the joys of friendship.


As days passed by, Alana lived her nana’s life through the pages of the journal. She noticed that her nana wrote down all the major events of her life, reflected over various aspects and situations; her perspective grew deeper with years, and Alana also witnessed her nana transform from her innocent naive teen years into a strong, beautiful, and independent woman.


Throughout her life, as the things around changed, her journal was a constant.


There were some insightful things that Alana discovered in the journals; she started to dog-ear the pages for her reference. Her nana had sections in her journal where she wrote down her unhelpful thoughts, and next to them, she had checkboxes that read “Fact” or “Not a fact”. Alana found this method that her nana used quite intriguing.


The journals from her 20s and 30s were filled with habit trackers; “maybe the need to cross off the habit for the day motivated nana to be consistent,” Alana wondered, as she flipped through the pages.


Some sections of the journal had really inquisitive questions, like “Are you more scared to lose yourself in the relationship or lose the other person?” “What is the difference between who you are and who you want to be?” As Alana read through nana’s answers, she wondered what prompted her nana to come up with these questions or were these questions something she stumbled on.


As she read more journals, Alana couldn't help but miss her nana, but through the journals, she also felt that her nana was right with her. She had so many questions she wanted to ask. It was like Nana had read her mind; the last journal had a letter, addressed to Alana, it read -


“Dear Alana,

When you read this, I wont be around to answer the millions of question you might have. I left you these journals so you can see how writing in a journal helped me. Just like you probably noticed, the journals were my constant companion.


My Dearest Diary, has helped me understand myself better, has been a major part of my growth, has been kind, empathetic in all phases of my life. It has helped me break habits (Yes! I know you were shocked that nana used to smoke…ha ha ha).


It has invariably motivated me to build healthy habits, forcing me to be consistent (Haven’t missed a day of surya namaskar). Helped me save money (Took a trip with grandpa look two summers ago.)


Journaling has given me a chance to look at myself in different perspective, it has helped me reflect parts of my life. Some journal entries have just been cathartic, like the time when my closest friend hurt me. Some entries have been so fulfilling to write like the memories with my dad.


There were times, when the thoughts would overwhelm and occupy so much of my mind, that I could barely get any work done. Writing down my thoughts and checking if they were facts or not was ever so helpful (A trick I picked up in a seminar I once attended with grandpa, although I don’t know what the seminar was on, the trick stayed with me).


My sweetest Alana, life unfolds as a beautiful journey, and capturing its moments makes the experience even more exquisite. I hope that you find a journal that offers you the same companionship that my Diary gave me, becoming a constant and cherished friend in your own journey.


Remember, Do it for Yourself, not for me.


Lots of Love,

Nana

X0X0 (Is this how the kids say it these days?)

p.s.: When you miss me, you can always ask ‘Dear Diary’ about me. Take of grandpa for me.”


Alana, Sniffled loudly, tears streaming down her cheeks, as she closed the journal. Taking her Nana’s advice, Alana, searched the internet to find a journal that best suited her needs, and was worthy to be her forever companion.


To her surprise and relief, she found just the one, on this website Journal Link. They had a journal called ‘D.I.F.Y’ - Do It For Yourself. The journal offered -


  • Reflective questioning based on the psychodynamic approach of psychology.

  • Habit building, tracking based on Behaviouristic school of psychology.

  • Thought record and Thought challenging templates based on Cognitive Behaviouristic Psychology.

  • Gratitude journaling, and self-care templates based on Humanistic School of Psychology.

Having made her purchase, to her delight, Alana discovered that her new trusted companion would arrive the next day. The journal not only met all her expectations but was also reasonably priced.


Filled with happiness and pride in her discovery, she eagerly shared the link along with her grandma’s insightful words with friends and family.



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